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Darn You Sally Forth.

17 May

Yesterday, Sally Forth shot me down with this lovely comic in the Sunday paper.

(Kindly click to enlarge and read. It’s an important part of the following rant.)

Well thank you Sally. Of all days I decide to actually take the time and read your nonsense and your not funny life with your lame witicisms, you totally take my hopes and dreams of having a productive summer and fart on them. I WILL journal every day and I WILL NOT worry about baseless fears or ill-defined concerns. I WILL get things done. And I will NOT curse my own name come December, because it’s going to be the best summer ever! Gosh darnit.

Here are some of my goals for the summer. And they’re way better than silly Sally’s:

1. Do well in class. (Yes, boring. But necessary.)

2. Don’t spend money on dumb things. (Definition of ‘dumb’ will be decided on a case-by-case basis.)

3. Work out every day after class. (If the dang gym is actually open when it’s convenient for me.)

4. Do abs every day. With my 80’s Throwback 8-Minute-Abs friend. (As long as he promises to make me look like those girls in the video.)

5. Buy new swimsuit for inspiration.

6. Tackle the 50 Banned Books That Everyone Should Read that I found on Google.

7. Learn how to cook and not freak out.


Summer Result: Bren has the best summer ever.

That’s all.

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Ten Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

1 Mar

It’s cold. We’re cranky, pale, and stressed out. At this point in the year, as State College approaches its muddy season, it just seems like Spring will never get here.


If only there was some way to beat the winter blues.


Well, here are some ideas:


We love gettin' close.

1. Cuddle with someone

There is nothing like a good cuddle to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Cozy up to your boyfriend, best friend, mom or roommate.  Hugs work too.



2. Clean up

As in, clean up your room, your apartment, your car. And I mean really clean. It’s easy to let the crap pile up that just makes you want to stay in bed all day due to the inability to navigate to the door. Throw on some tunes and sing really loud. Not only will you feel productive, but living in clean place will make you want to be more productive.


3. Make someone’s day

The other day I was working at Otto’s and someone came up and ordered a latte. For some reason in my mind, I thought he said a “cookie”, and I asked him what kind of cookie he wanted. After correcting me, I made friendly banter, saying something like “Oh, I must have cookies on my mind! They just look so good! Chuckle chuckle” (This is customer service at its finest, folks.) After making and giving his latte to him, he stopped and asked “How much are cookies?” After I responded, he put two dollars down on the counter and said “Buy yourself a cookie”. And walked away. I don’t know who he is, or remember what he looks like, but it made my day, and has made me want to do the same for other people.


4. Eat a muffin

I don’t care how many calories are in them. I love muffins–chocolate chip, lemon poppyseed, banana nut, blueberry. Best enjoyed with a cup of coffee. The gym can wait.


5. Youtube music and TV shows from yesteryear

Doug, All That, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Spice Girls, Under the Umbrella Tree, Old Disney Channel, Barney, Family Matters, Babysitter’s Club, etc etc. Productive? Nope. Entertaining and able to bring a smile to your face? Absolutely.


6. Wear red lipstick

It’s bold. It might make you feel uncomfortable at first. I’ve never worn red lipstick a day in my life, but the other day as I was getting ready to go to lunch with my mom, I spotted a tube of bright red in my ULTA treasure chest of makeup goodies. After the initial back and forth in my mind of whether or not I should give it a try, I decided on yes. And instantly I went from Bren in a Funk to Fabulous Bren who is ready to go conquer the world. It really works–a little over the top, but damn it,  it made me smile.



7. Actually pick up the phone and call someone

There’s probably one person lurking around in your mind who you’ve been thinking that you should really give a call to lately, but just haven’t gotten around to it. Well, do it. And actually call, not just send a quick text. Have a conversation and catch up.


8. Make a Craft

The other day I was feeling artsy. I had some dying anniversary roses in a vase and an empty wine jug, so I decided to make a pretty decoration by pulling off the petals and filling the jug with them. It looked great for a few days until they all turned brown. The whole thing hit the trash today when I realized there was mold growing on the petals. But hey, it was fun.


9. Dress up

It’s so easy to roll out of bed and throw on sweatpants and a t-shirt before running to class. And comfortable, too. But every now and then, it’s really nice to put some time into an outfit. You feel better about yourself.


10. Watch this video

I just think it’s hysterical. (You can stop after And I’m Telling You is done…I couldn’t find the shorter version)


Let me know what you do to ward off those winter funks!

-Bren